Are you single and looking?
Do you know what you are looking for?
The reason I ask is because your brain is wonderful at seeking out what it knows you are looking for and you can use this part of your brain to help you to seek out compatible partners.
Us humans have countless bits of sensory information coming to us in any moment. Things such as our digestion, noises around us, temperature,etc. We can’t possibly pay attention to all of it. So it is screened through a part of our brain called the reticular activating system or “RAS”.
The RAS processes all the incoming information and then will disregard what is “unimportant” and only allows information through to the cortical areas of the brain for analysis when it deems it to be relevant, dangerous or interesting.
This means that there’s a limit to what your brain can focus on in each moment and unless you let your brain know what you are looking for, there is a good chance that you will be missing out on some great opportunities.
This is true in every area of life. Are you looking for a business opportunity? Health information? New socks? You must set your intention first and then you will see the opportunities when they appear, because your RAS will send this information on for analysis, rather than disregarding the information as unimportant .
So, If you are single and looking, one of the best things you can do is to make a list about what you are looking for in your partner. What must he/ she be like? List all the things that you can think of That are essential for you, even the things that you think are obvious, like “single” and “ready for commitment” “attractive to me” “attracted to me” . This will train your brain to be on the lookout for when a man or woman like this crosses your path.
Also, when you have a clear picture of what you are looking for in a relationship, it allows you to end a dating relationship when it is clear that it’s not what you are looking for. For example if one of the things on your list is “must enjoy talking about personal growth” but you are dating someone who clearly doesn’t fit that category, then because you have written it down, you will be much clearer that this relationship is not going to work in the long term.
Another way that the RAS can help you is this: sometimes singles have had a few heartbreaks and a few relationships that haven’t gone to plan. This can make us cynical about love in general and we tend to see evidence around us of “relationships gone bad”
If this sounds like you, then I would like to ask you to start carrying a notepad around and making a note of any happy, long term relationships that you see or think of. I did this when I was single and it really helped me to see that there are happy couples everywhere I noticed that the guy who owned the local fruit shop and his wife were happy and “lovey dovey” after many years of marriage, my boss was happily married and I also wrote down famous couples or historical couples that I knew of that were happily together.
Your RAS will be on the lookout for evidence of happy couples and before you know it, you will be seeing them everywhere. When something appears common to you, then you will easily and effortlessly bring it into your life too and before you know it, you will be IN one of those happy couples yourself.
Heart mind and soul coach 